对自己不狠，别人狠起来可就会要你的命！

If you don’t discipline yourself, you will go bust when others are hard on you!

对自己不狠，别人狠起来可就会要你的命！

Dong Ming, after all, is one of my friends, but he shows “some qualities”?beyond the ordinary people. In my circle?of friends, his every word and action?will be much received and commented. Sure we are divided with?pros and cons?in our comments. However, I always have reasons to place high hopes on?(寄予厚望) “this dark horse”. ?

东明算是我比较要好的朋友，他身上有很多超出常人的“品质”。我们朋友圈里，他的一言一行都备受关注和点评，自然褒贬不一，但我始终看好这匹“黑马”。

01

Of course, Dong?Ming’s?life is full of ups and downs?but with?rich and varied experience. It is not excessive to?say he is a “Slash”.

当然，东明的人生经历也是跌宕起伏且丰富多彩。要说他是个“斜杠青年”，一点也不过分。

Now he is perhaps 48 years old, but he has engaged in more than a dozen?different jobs in his career. He has attended a medical junior college, then followed suit to pursue his literature dream, keen on literary creation, addressing himself to writing literary articles even round the clock. Later he quitted?his job and ventured into business.

今年东明48岁的样子，可在他的职业生涯里，所从事过的工作就有十几种之多。先是读医学大专，然后又跟风追求文学梦，热衷文学创作，笔耕不辍，后又辞职下海经商。

In those years, he worked as a doctor, a clerk in the government department and also a bank clerk. He has done a lot of things, let alone randomly?speculating on stocks or reselling hot products. In a word, he did pretty well, but he still has some lessons from failure.

其间他当过医生、政府部门办事员、银行职员。且不说他还胡乱捣腾炒股票、倒卖热销商品，所以他从事过多种行业。总之，他也小有成就，但也不乏失败的教训。

As far as I can see, he?is an intelligent and resourceful person and is inclined to play petty tricks. Moreover, he has a gift for language and is adept at interpersonal communication and social intercourses. What’s more, he can skillfully size up the situation and can seize every opportunity absolutely spot-on?(拿捏得恰到好处).

在我看来，他属于那种智力程度较高且善于耍小聪明的人，而且很有语言天赋，善于沟通和交际，能审时度势，对机会拿捏得恰到好处。

In the daily interpersonal communication, he excels in making?a psychological attack?and is indeed a bean counter. He always has the?well targeted?plan. He never gives?up until he reaches his goal?as he stubbornly insists?on his?own ideas?all along.

东明在人际交往中，善于攻心，精于算计。他目标非常明确，不达目的，誓不罢休，即便是头撞南墙也不回头。

But Dong Ming is also a more plain-spoken person?and has made a lot of friends even miscellaneous people?from all walks of life can be friends with him. His private life is something like a mystery, and sure he plunges himself into “Passion On Beauty Rather Than Career”. All in all, Dong Ming is open-minded and unrestrained and forthright, so his friends hold him in high esteem.

与此同时，东明很随性坦率，广交朋友，甚至社会上三教九流的人也能和他成为朋友。他的私生活总有几分神秘感， 自然也免不了“爱江山更爱美人”。总之，东明很大气，也很豪爽，朋友们都很敬重他。

2

After all, everyone?can?be all at sea for quite a while. One year he lost quite a lot of money as share prices plunged, so he was mentally dispirited and fell into a decline. However, the influence of this matter was not very long. It was not long before he could adjust his mentality, and he calmed down by drawing a lesson from a bitter experience and mapped out a strategy. After setting the new target, he started anew.

话说回来，每个人一生中总有迷茫的时候。那年东明因炒股大赔，变得精神颓废，一蹶不振。但这事儿对他影响都不会很久，他很快能够调整自己的心态，痛定思痛后, 静下心来运筹一番。确定新的目标后，又重新开始。

So if we know nothing about him every once in a while, we are sure that he must move about by devising something new or march to a different drummer (打着不同的鼓点前进) and show a new spotlight to us. So we always have greater expectations for him, Sure we hope he can work wonders and make still further progress in life and career.

所以每隔一段时间，如果没有他的消息，我们一定知道他又在倒腾新的玩意儿，又要标新立异，制造出新亮点，所以我们对他总有新的期待，当然也希望他能创造奇迹，在人生和事业上能够百尺竿头更进一步。

In the summer of 1997, the stock prices took a?tumble?and?Dong Ming lost more than 100,000 yuan, which was really something!

1997年夏天，因股票大跌，东明一下子就赔了10多万元，那可不是个小数字呀!

One day he said in private with me, “Bro, I want to kill myself. I lost all my life money, so I am embarrassed to face?my parents, my wife and child!”

一次他私下里对我说：“哥哥，小弟不想活了！这一生挣的钱都赔光了，无颜面对父母和妻小呀！”

I said half-jokingly, "You will be gone once for all!”

我半开玩笑地说：“干脆，你先走一个！”

With a wry smile, he said, “”Hi, bro, no one is crueler?than you are. If you don’t cheer me on, you can’t look on indifferently.”

他苦笑着说：“哥哥，没有比你更狠的人了，不给小弟鼓气加油，也不能见死不救吧！”

I continued, “You’re a resourceful man and sure can find your way out. So you don’t have to turn to me for good advice. Anyway, to live is better than to die.”

“你是智多星，自能找到出路的，还用得着我一笨人给你出点子。不过好死不如赖活着！”我接着说。

There was no sign of him?for several?months. I tried to inquire about him in the circle of friends who knew nothing about him at all.

一连好几个月都没有见到东明的踪影了，在朋友圈里打听，再也没有他的音讯。

At that moment, I was quite worried about him: Did he go to extremes or do anything stupid? At the mere thought of this, I was sweating from every pore?and was almost frightened to death.

讲真，有点替他担心：别是真的出了什么状况吧。这样一想，我一身冷汗，吓得半死。

3

Four years passed while I remained in a state of anxiety, but I did hope to hear from him but to no avail.

我就这样担惊受怕挨过漫长的四年，总希望听闻东明的好消息，可是仍然没有他的任何消息。

One day, my cell phone rang, I answer it, hearing the voice of Dong Ming.

终于有一天，我的手机铃响了，对，是来自东明的电话。

“Dear Bro, I’m still alive and kicking! How are you?”

“哥哥，我还活着！你还好吗？”

“Same as usual.?What about you?”

“还是那样！你咋样呀？”

“Four years ago, I got enrolled into the university where Liu Huan works, and I obtained Master of Law degree. Now I work in Guangdong Nanyue Bank as the director of the headquarters’ administrative office.”

“四年前我考上了刘欢所在的那所大学，攻读完了法律硕士。现在就职于南粤银行，担任总行办公室主任。”

“Congratulations, Dong Ming! Every cloud has a silver lining for you! You now gain a complete victory in both life and career.”

“恭喜你呀，东明！苦尽甘来，又一春啦。你可是在人生和事业上大获全胜呀。”

“But you didn’t know how I could get through these years. I wanted?to kill myself on several occasions, but I failed because I was too soft-hearted.”

“你不知道小弟这几年是怎么走过的，几次想死，都因心太软，没有死成。”

“You are a good example for us to follow.”

“你是我们学习的榜样。”

“In the past few years it drove?home the truth to me: If you don’t discipline yourself, you’ll go bust (完蛋) if others are hard on you!”

“哥，这些年我总算明白一个道理：‘对自己不狠，别人狠起来可就会要你的命！’”

At this, my heart quivered. True enough, I don’t know what happened, but Dong Ming must have suffered quite a lot.

听到这里，我心中一颤，虽然不知道具体发生了什么，但东明一定吃了不少苦，受过不少罪。

4

The reason for his success lies in that he can set his target for a hard struggle and try hard to overcome hardships against the unbearable pressure?beyond the?ordinary people. Moreover, he is very strict with himself. So I admire him for his remark: “If you don’t discipline yourself, you’ll go bust when others are hard on you!”

他能走向成功，根本的原因在于他能设定奋斗目标，面对常人难以承受的压力，顽强战胜困难。他对自己要求非常严格。所以我很欣赏东明，特别是他的那句：“对自己不狠，别人狠起来可就会要你的命！”

Several years go?by, and he is transferred and promoted?to a higher position through?his own unremitting efforts. Now he serves as Deputy CEO of China Financial Leasing Co., Ltd. with the annual salary up to several?million yuan.

又过了好几年，东明通过自己的不断努力，又升迁了。现在是中国租赁集团公司的副老总，年薪都好几百万。

Now thinking of my own life destitute of dignity, I can boil down to the fact that I just spare myself (偷懒; 要求不严格) for higher life pursuit.

想想自己依然这么龌龊的活着，归根结底就是自己对自己不够狠，努力不够！